Your dad touched me again.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
