you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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