Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you mean i was at the winter classic?

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(937): View more from Ohio

just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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(903): View more from Texas

I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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(914): View more from New York

Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?

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(631): View more from New York

I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her

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