I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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