I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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