He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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