SEEEEXXX PLEASE
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize