New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
