What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love you. Go after that dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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