Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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