You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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