put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
