HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I skipped work to stalk him.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
