turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
