I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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