Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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