It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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