So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
