You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
