Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
