I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
