What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
