i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
