I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The adults are the big ones right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
