aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
