When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize