I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
