Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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