Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
