New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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