I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
do nipples grow back?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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