You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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