Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
