All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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