actually, I'm a sock model
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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