i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize