you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
