using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
