The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
