So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
