oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
