you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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