This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
