i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
