Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
