Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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