I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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