The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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