So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
