I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
