....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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