he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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