We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
