Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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