we're blogging at a bar
did you get engaged???
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
