going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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