Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
