On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
